Tuesday, January 24, 2012

A Healing Gem

In March 2010, I suffered a miscarriage. By far, this is the most traumatic event I have ever experienced.  I am not underestimating cancer, but my medical team thus far seems confident I "will get my life back." However, I would never get my baby back and no amount of strength in the world can help overcome that sense of loss.

My dear friend, Jennifer Kwiatek, gave me a healing gem necklace. When I received the gift, I immediately put it on and religiously wore it until August 2011. The only reason I decided to no longer wear the necklace was because I received my beautiful "push present" from Christian which is a gold charm necklace with the letter "C" representing Camilla. I remember taking off the necklace - kissing the gem, saying "Thank You," and placing it in my jewelry box. I honestly believed that gem helped me heal. It gave the strength I sought to get me through a very dark period of my life.

This past weekend, I decided once again I needed my healing gem. I opened the jewelry box and found it tangled. I was so upset, but immediately removed it and attempted to untangle this "mess." As many of my close family and friends know, one of my worst traits is impatience. After a half hour, I was about to give up and wanted to sob because my healing gem was laying before me in a heap of tangled knots. I took a deep breath and told myself "Jennifer - Take a deep breath. You are going to need patience to get through the next year. Calm down." I looked at the necklace again and decided to take a different approach. Within minutes, it was untangled and around my neck.

The point of my story is I had a "moment." Laying before me was an object that I treasured with all my heart, but it needed me - it needed my patience and strength to make it vibrant once again.  I had to find it within myself not to give up and be impatient. I know the journey before me is going to take a lot more strength than untangling a necklace, but I vow to myself, my daughter, and Christian - that I WILL find that inner strength and patience to get through this and once again - be healed.

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